So, amidst all the fun things I’ve had going on in my schedule, Mr. Rawkstar and I have been working at ways to improve our relationship. While it isn’t perfect, it certainly isn’t to the point that I think we need to run out to a counselor just yet. Not to mention the fact the cost of that just wouldn’t really work well right now (that’s an entirely different topic). Anyways, my current solution is to look into some books geared at relationships. We are both in favor of this idea and would like to get a couple books that we can read a chapter of two of together each night.
I’ve spent an hour or so on Amazon looking at different ones and reading the user reviews. I’ve narrowed it down to a shorter list and wanted to check with you guys and see if you’ve had any experience with/heard anything about any of these books. They all have great reviews on Amazon, but I sometimes wonder if those are put on there by people affiliated with the book or author. So, without further adieu, here are the books. Let me know if you have any input or if you have any different suggestions! Thanks! 
Love Busters: Overcoming Habit That Destroy Romantic Love
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
The five love languages is a crock of shit in my humble opinion. I despise personal development books that try to typecast you as a certain kind of person with a specific kind of wanton need.
I havent read those books, so I cant give an opinion on them. But I do hope you guys work everything out – actually, I know you will!!
)
Hugs!
I really can only speak in favor of one of the books, Its the Five Love Languages.
It’s really about finding out what you’re specific love language is (be it physical touch, words of affirmation, gift giving, quality time, or acts of service) which enables you to better understand how it is you want to be treated, or “loved”.
I think it’s a great book because Mr. Rawkstar will also learn what his love language is, and then you can both work on ways to find out how that love language wants to be loved and do those things for one another!
Am I rambling too much? I hope everything works out for you!
and by the way, I would have to disagree with Jay, the book isn’t specifically telling you that you are exactly “this” type and so you must do “these” things lest you be forever unhappy. Its just giving suggestions, and ones that I feel, work for my relationship with my husband.
I’ve heard of the Five Languages of Love but have never read it. From fancythis’ comments, it sounds pretty interesting.
I’m glad to hear things are getting better and I’m with Isabella, I know you two will work things out.
I found The Five Love Languages informative. It gave me in site and made me see things on a different level/angle. I’d recommend it. It does talk in a Christian values kinda way but if you don’t mind that .. then give it a go.
Too bad “not being a tard” isn’t one of the love languages.
Seriously Amber, I know as well as the next person how much of a struggle relationships can be. My wife and I have been through trying times, but it was never a book that made it work for us. We simply distilled everything down to the heart of what we had; realizing that honesty, respect, communication, and the love we share is at the very heart of a working union, and stayed determine to focus on that. You and the Mr. need to carry those things close to you and practice them at all times, and if it doesn’t work, it never will.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE The Five Love Languages. I actually read the one for singles…and really has helped me take a closer look at the people around me and how I interact with them as well. I know a couple that was having troubles and they read that book – and they said it helped. Now I’m sure it’s not what “SAVED” their marriage but it helped get over a little bump in the road and become closer.
I don’t agree with Jay. I don’t think that everyone is the same and that what works for him and his wife will work for everyone. Obviously you have to have honesty, communication and love – but sometimes a little help isn’t all that bad either
The reason people love that book is becauise it’s an easy answer… “Oh, here’s my problem, right on paper. It sounds plausible so it must be what I need. Let me sign up to their free newsletter and buy the workbook and keep throwing money at my problems instead of actually working on them.”
Hi Amber,
I don’t know about any of those books so I thought that I would suggest some other things instead:
1) Date night (just the two of you, once a week, take turns coming up with something that you think the other person would want to do).
&
2) State of the Union night (just the two of you, once a week, sit down and discuss what’s going well, what needs improvement, what you’d like the other person to work on and what you feel you need to work on).
I think therapy is all about opening up the lines of communication and in most cases at least, I think you can probably get there on your own.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
Jay I have to disagree, noone here is saying that by reading any book you’re solving your problems, they’re just saying that it gives you a new, fresh perspective. You do actually have to APPLY what you’ve read. Reading it and then putting it down without attempting to change is the same as not working at all. And for the record, no “counseling” type book I’ve ever purchased has also had me sign up for a newsletter and keep throwing money at them every month. I think you had a bad run-in with this and now you’re just bitter